Legal humor

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts written by Charles Sevilla and Lee Lorenz and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the discipline of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie …read more